Love is an amazing feeling, it can make you feel alive, blissful and a reason for continue to live your life, without love.. life can feel empty and pointless. but when your love life falls apart, it can be the opposite of the amazement, it can be tormenting and life threatening for some persons.
Have you fallen in love with someone but you can’t have that person in your life or things are not going well with you two? Here in this article, i will try to inspire you to move on without that person or maybe fix things between you two to be back together
Reasons for losing a loved one
- Too much fighting
- Excessive controlling
- Physical harassment
Why love hurts?
Why do we always get hurt by that one person we love?
Because we always expect some things from them, like being loved, cared, agreeing with us, being with us etc in return for your love to them. we deserve to be loved back, yes. if we can’t get what we expect from a loved one, we demand it from her/him, you try to talk to that person about it but the talk gets heated up.. turns to quarrel and argument, this can turn to fight that forces you to take unintentional and unnecessary actions that you never wanted to – why? because the fight cause you both to utter words that are harsh, disrespectful and bad, physical force can also be involved in the fight, it can be serious
These actions you take when angry towards a loved one often are temporary like – you tell the person that you will never call or text (But you will later), not coming home anymore, breaking up with that person (harsh) etc. other actions such as hitting or verbally abusing that person can also happen, all of this sometimes can cause break up in some relationships
The way you feel now
If you are reading this article, then you are most likely a heart broken soul seeking a way to ease the pain, i can tell how you are feeling right now.
I know how much it hurts inside you and how much tears you may have lost, you just can’t help yourself that the gone memories of you together keep coming in your mind – you two eating together, talking romantic things, about your future and starting a family,baby,your own house and many other dreams you planned together in future. you feel like you can’t live anymore without him or her
Your days are now feeling so lonely,dark, lost and hopeless..you feel like not living anymore because the person whom you shared your life with, the person who was there for you to listen to your heart..is now fading away or faded from your life..
The pain of losing a loved one can be the most horrible pain a person can be at..but there can be hope, yes. you can try to be back with that person by fixing problems between you two, let’s see how you can try it
Try to fix it..
Most broken things can be fixed to some extent..if the problem with you are just a quarrel over silly things, you will naturally be back in a few hours
Try a few things to get back on track with your love
- First thing you can do is give it some time, yes, don’t just rush to your love and talk unnecessary things again after fight, this can sometimes make the situation worse, do not call and text too much overloading his or her phone with sorry. just give her or him some time to wind up.. a few days maybe, if that person really loves you, he/she will understand the situation and forgive or forget the past and will come back to you, or after few days you can try to text,call or meet that person and say sorry. put aside your ego and stubborn mentality while you do it. if the person you try to be back with is a great person, remember that a little forgiveness can save a great relationship.
- Good relationships or true love is hard to find these days for some people, so remind yourself to appreciate what you have now before it’s gone.
- Talk nicely to the person, lower your voice, tell him/her you were angry because you were stressed over other things also and you love her/him. the situation may caused you both to say very bad things while fighting, do away with it, don’t bring it back to your talk again.. Ok maybe you can just tell you are hurt because those words
- Tell him/her their favourite joke that make them laugh. sometimes this will work, and all it will take to fix a relationship can be a simple thing like this
- Call her/him sweet words, just not that sweetheart,baby,honey etc – i think those sweet words are too common, so try to find another name that is not so common. i like something like bestie,pumpkin,cute eyes etc. if you think the common sweet words work, then use it, just hope that it doesn’t backfire..:-)
How do i forget that person and ease the pain
If you tried everything to be back with the person and it didn’t work, you will need to move on now to save yourself and be free from the pain, in that situation, it is best for you to leave now than trying to make it work and hurting yourself more. there are some ways that can help you get over that person..
It is time for you to let go things that you do not need and heal yourself now, this is time to make yourself stronger
- Find someone else. you will find someone better, but wait! never you rush and jump to another relationship fast, i mean because the new person you are with are not the same like your old lover, remember that you are emotionally unstable now and you might say things that you are not supposed to say, you may talk about old lover and your fights etc. it is better to talk less. but if the new person is understanding and supportive, you can tell him/her your stories, this will ease a lot of your burden, we all need emotional support to move on. after my break up with old lover, i found someone else and married her, now i am happy
- Remind yourself of his/her flaws. like the bad things she/him said to you, bad things that was done. the point is to remind yourself anything that caused you thinking about leaving the person.
- Time will heal you. Yes, this is the natural way to heal yourself, cry if you feel like crying. one thing you should not do is sitting or laying in your bed all day weeping for someone that doesn’t care about you. you should do something, like cooking, reading etc but doing a physically demanding task will do better and strengthen you
- Go to a new place. find a new place to sing your sad song
- Make a new friend or friends. this will help, but friends are very hard to make these days, everyone is on facebook and whatsapp etc. expect less
- Find a new hobby or activity, learn something new. Do something new where you can focus with most of your attention
- Pray. I know most people today don’t believe in God, but he is always there, just seek him, you will find.
- Deep Breathing. Whenever you feel uncontrollable sadness, just close your eyes and take a deep long breath in through nose and hold it few seconds and breath out slowly through your mouth. this will lower stress hormones such as adrenalin, cortisol etc so you will feel better when you are doing it more and more
(Will be continued)